yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
