You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
