My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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