wat bout pragnant strippers??
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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