there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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