I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think I am morally bankrupt
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
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We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
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I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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