I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
