im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
