how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
