People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
