that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
