who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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