He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I enjoy the company of your penis
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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