I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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