4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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