I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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