Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
