Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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