I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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