Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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