Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
