These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
