I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
