my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
