can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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