You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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