it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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