Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Holy sore nipples Batman
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
