Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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