turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Watching her eat just hurts me
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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