Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The beer is more important than you right now.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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