Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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