i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
