Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
