Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
worst night to have a conscience
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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