Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
