Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
