which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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