Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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