y did u give ur computer a hand job?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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