I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
