His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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