Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
