Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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