dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
