moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
