She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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