She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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