I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
