Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Oh god it's open bar.
Shame - the story of my life.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
