Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
