How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
