But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
