yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
