you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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