I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
