can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
