I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
