Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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