Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
