I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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