I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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